dear george

From: The great unwashed
To: Fratboy in Chief

I know it’s been quite a while since you addressed an audience that wasn’t handpicked for you. Or that wasn’t under orders not to embarrass you. Or that did not hand over a sizeable check for the Republican National Committee as you left.

So, maybe you need a little reminder about what it’s like out in the real world – outside that insulated cocoon where you spend your days, ranting and raving at anyone who dares to offer you a differing opinion. Yes, we’ve heard those stories about your profanity-laced tirades. And don’t forget that we caught you red-fingered, flipping off the White House press corps after they dared question you and your imperial presidency about Iraq. I guess you really miss your gay-escort, go-to-guy Jeff Gannon, eh?

Up to this point of your presidency, the only thing truly pointed you’ve ever had to face as Commander in Chief is that pretzel that floored you. We hear you called its boss and had it fired, too.

Tuesday you ventured outside the cocoon. This was a good first step. Don’t let it be your last.

Since you’ve avoided addressing the NAACP Convention like the plague, it should be pointed out to you that the sea of faces staring back at you may have looked like Condoleeza Rice or Colin Powell (you remember them, right? They’re not like Jack Abramoff, that guy you never met, no matter what the photographs show, right?), but they don’t think in lockstep with you and the Turd Blossom.

Here’s a hint: All those faces looking back at you while you sat scowling on the dais? Those are the people Sam Alito was working so hard to keep OUT of Princeton.

Those are people who have built their life around the church – who live their life within their church community. Who believe that life should be lived by trying to BE LIKE JESUS CHRIST.

Maybe that’s where you went wrong. You see, this was a REAL church you walked into, not one of those corporate affairs you’re used to. They don’t hold “Jesus wants you to be wealthy” classes at this kind of church. In this kind of a church, they don’t try to install monuments to the Ten Commandments at the local courthouse. Instead, they try to live by The Beattitudes – and I suppose that concept is a bit foreign to you, George. Here’s a hint: Ted Kennedy quoted them to you. They’re from the opening to Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. You should remember these, George:

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (A good thing for you to remember, George. You can’t buy your way in to Heaven, no matter what James Dobson is trying to tell you while he’s pimping for those conservative judges)

Blessed are the meek: for they shall posses the land. (I know this isn’t a concept you can get yourself next to – especially with you now wanting to sell off national forest land to your buddies. And no, drilling rights aren’t exempt)

Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted. (You should know about this one, George – you and your policies have caused a lot of people to mourn, from the people that died on September 11 that you have hidden behind, to the thousands of soldiers you’ve sacrificed in Iraq and Afghanistan to the thousands still missing after Hurricane Katrina)

Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill. (Just remember that, George. Your day of judgment is still coming)

Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. (Mention that to Slammin’ Sammy Alito when you get a chance)

Blessed are the clean of heart: for they shall see God. (The God you keep talking to is either a flashback from one of your cocaine binges or midnight guilt creeping up on you, George)

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. (“That bitch,” as you refer to Cindy Sheehan, is one of the children of God, George. You should be ashamed of yourself)

Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Remember that when you review your rendition program and when you spout off about how you need to torture prisoners in your War on Terror)

The people in this Georgia church know those bible verses, George. Why don’t you?

Your “fuck ‘em, they don’t vote for me anyway” attitude came back to haunt you, George. I hope you learned something from it.

But, fratboy that you are, it appears you didn’t. You came right back out and told that tall story about how you thwarted an attack on “The Liberty Tower” in Los Angeles, trying to scare people into looking the other way while you keep screwing over “the mythical little guy,” as your senate pals like to call them.

You should know better.

More soon.