In my line of work, you have to pay attention to a good quote. When I'm conducting an interview, a bell goes off in my head when I've heard that golden quote that will literally lift a story to the next level. They don't come around all that often.

This evening I came across a book that I've had in a corner of the bookshelf that I've enjoyed from time to time. It's called ``If you don't have anything nice to say . . . .come sit next to me.'' It's a collection of some of the funniest, most wicked things famous people have had to say to and about each other.

Here are a few that I especially liked:

Blake Edwards on his then-wife Julie Andrews: ``Before I'd met Julie, some people were conjecturing about her success. I said, `I can tell you what it is. She has lilacs for pubic hair.''

Christopher Plummer on Julie Andrews: ``Working with her is like getting hit over the head with a Valentine's card.''

Dick Cavett, on Woody Allen: ``Woody is at two with nature.''

Bianca Jagger, to Warren Beatty: ``So we had an affair. You must be pretty bad – I don't even remember you.''

George Raft, in turning down the chance to star in the movie `Casablanca:' ``I don't want to star opposite an unknown Swedish broad.''

Madeline Kahn: ``Mel Brooks is sensual with me. He treats me like an uncle. A dirty uncle.''

Gena Rowlands, on her husband, director John Cassavetes: ``As an artist, I love him. As a husband, I hate him.''

George Burns, on Carol Channing: ``She never just enters a room. Even when she comes out of the bathroom, her husband applauds.''

Johnny Carson: ``I said I didn't think Chevy Chase could ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.''

Also from Johnny Carson: ``If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and the impersonators would be dead.''

Howard Rosenberg: ``If I had a hammer, I'd use it on Peter, Paul and Mary.''

Mark Twain: ``Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself.''

Marlon Brando, on Montgomery Clift: ``(It's) like he's got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn't want anyone to know it.''

Bette Davis, on Joan Crawford: ``Christ, you never know what size boobs that broad has strapped on! She must have a different set for each day of the week! She's supposed to be shriveling away, but her tits keep growing. I keep running into them like the Hollywood Hills.''

Jessica Tandy, on husband Hume Cronyn: ``When he's late for dinner I know he's either having an affair or is lying dead in the street. I always hope it's the street.''

Rex Reed on Marlene Dietrich: ``The more she talks, the more you begin to respect Garbo.''

Leslie Halliwell, on director Blake Edwards: ``A man of many talents, all of them minor.''

Dustin Hoffman: ``Charlton Heston wears a hairpiece. His character in A Man For All Seasons was bald. Instead of doing without his hairpiece, he put a bald pate OVER it.''

Fred MacMurray: ``I once asked Barbara Stanwyck the secret of acting. She said, `Just be truthful – and if you can fake that, you've got it made.' ''

Rex Harrison: ``Lana Turner is to an evening gown what Frank Lloyd Wright is to a pile of lumber.''

Mel Brooks: ``One day God said: `Let there be prey,' and he created pigeons, rabbits, lambs and Gene Wilder.''

Paul Newman, on his wife, Joanne Woodward: ``I have a steak at home, why would I go out for a hamburger?''

More soon.