daddy, they’re being mean to my friends

George W. Bush is concerned that vehement rejection of the deal to sell control of U.S. Ports to Dubai Ports World will send the wrong message to the Middle East.

That’s right. The man who brought the world a Shia-Sunni civil war in Iraq, who has done more to fuel jihadists around the world, is concerned a few Arab petro-billionaires will think ill of the United States.

I swear, if there’s a lick of sense in that position I cannot see it and neither can anyone else who spends more than a nanosecond examining it.

Except, perhaps, in this sense.

George W. Bush, who built his political career on creating an Us vs. Them atmosphere in the United States, sees the world in a much more strictly defined version.

There certainly is evidence of this particular world view. It certainly explains his policy of tax cuts and his administration’s reaction to Hurricane Katrina. And it explains his almost pathological avoidance of the Great Unwashed. His speeches are almost universally given to either military personnel or to tightly controlled groups of passionate supporters and his staff has done a magnificent job of bringing the White House press corps to heel so that his all-too-rare press conferences are heavily salted with softball questions from friendly, if not planted, journalists (and I use that term reluctantly).

So when George W. Bush postulates (and I would love to see him try to spell that word) that an effort by Congress to block the DPW port deal would upset the Middle East, you have to remember that, to him, the sum total of people in the Middle East are the ones who are now, or have in the immediate past, doing business with the Carlyle Group, the investment company that currently employs his father, Poppy, and will employ him as well once his mis-Administration leaves office.

With that narrow of a view, it’s no wonder he’s panicked over the port deal.

Next he’ll be up in arms over the shortage of quality polo ponies. No, wait. Barbara has forbid him from actually riding a horse – which is why there is no livestock on his phony-as-hell-brush ranch in Crawford. He’d surely fall off and land on his head. Which may explain his inability to GET IT in the first place.

Not that he’s alone in making loony leaps of logic.

Giving credit to an email that has been floating around now for some time, Republican logic has given us the following:

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton, and wants you to support the war.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

HMO's and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's cocaine conviction is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80's is irrelevant.

More soon.