happy happy joy joy

Let’s see. The Bush Administration is spying on everyone’s email and telephone conversations while underlings put together a deal to hand over the management of six U.S. ports to a company owned by Dubai of the United Aram Emirates.

So, what does George Will have to tell us?

Conservatives are happier than liberals!

Hmmmm. Methinks George is tying that bow tie too tight.

“A survey by the Pew Research Center shows that conservatives are happier than liberals -- in all income groups,” Will writes. “While 34 percent of all Americans call themselves "very happy," only 28 percent of liberal Democrats (and 31 percent of moderate or conservative Democrats) do, compared with 47 percent of conservative Republicans. This finding is niftily self-reinforcing: It depresses liberals.”

Let me see. What do liberals have to be unhappy about?

Could it be that Liberals are still waiting for answers about the security failures leading up to September 11 – yes, the September 11 that George W. Bush has used to skyrocket the federal deficit (no doubt a further cause of liberal angst), bludgeon his way into a war with Iraq and scare the piss out of the electorate in order to continue his giveaway program for his wealthy supporters.

I can see that upsetting more than a few liberals.

Or could it be the inept way the Bush Administration dealt with Hurricane Katrina? Name another president who has seen two major American cities devastated under their watch.

Could it be the fact that conservatives have hung a For Sale sign on Congress? Jack Abramoff sold access to a long list of legislators. Congressman Randy “Duke” Cunningham faces a stretch in prison for selling himself to special interests. Tom DeLay, the House majority leader, is under indictment for his role in gerrymandering Texas’ legislative districts in order to advance the Republican majority. Ohio congressman Bob Ney is under investigation, as is Senate majority leader Bill Frist for improper stock dealings – the same Bill Frist who snuck blanket immunity to pharmaceutical companies into a piece of legislation in the dead of night.

Could it be that the Supreme Court has shifted mightily to the right, has reproductive rights in its gun sites, and is primed to elevate corporate rights above human and civil rights.

Or could it be that the Bush Administration has used the Bill of Rights as toilet paper and the president has referred to the Constitution as “just a goddamned piece of paper.” Let’s put it this way: this administration has asked the American people to trust them more often, with less reason to trust them, than any presidency in history.

Enron screwed its own employees out of their retirement funds. Airlines have dumped their pension responsibilities onto the federal government. But, hey, Halliburton’s profits are up – just not up as much as oil company profits.

With that going on, no wonder conservatives are so happy. Their fellow conservatives have really taken care of the deficit. They’re cleared the way for torturing prisoners in the war on terror – the most ambiguous excuse for creating a unitary executive ever crafted.

Right, George. Conservatives are happier than liberals.

Anyone with half a brain and even a remote interest in current events would be royally pissed off.

More soon.