vote for the boobs

Katherine Harris is still in the race. And she claims she’s going to win. But the question is, win what?

The Chad Harpy of Florida has been caught up in a campaign finance scandal tied to the Randy “Duke” Cunningham imbroglio. She hid out last week while the press swarmed her campaign and rumors circulated about her dropping out of her race to unseat incumbent democrat Bill Nelson.

The bet is that Nelson will beat Harris by 20 points in November.

On Hannity and Whatever the other night, Harris announced that, not only was she staying in the race, that she was transferring $10 million of her own money into the campaign (which should give you some idea of the upside potential, career wise, being a Republican politician can be).

Anyone who’s seen pictures of this woman on the campaign trail has to cringe at the sex kitten way she’s promoting herself – even though her latest lift makes her face look like Glad Wrap that’s been stretch on four corners. When she looks in the camera, She looks like an X.

Still, it was The Daily Show with Jon Stewart that put her campaign into context.

Thursday night, Stewart showed the clip from Hannity and Whatever with her declaration that she was in the race and that she was going to win. He cringed. Then he pitched tdo Tallahassee Bureau Chief Jason Jones.

JS: “Let me ask you, what’s going on with Katherine Harris. It’s already been quite a campaign for Ms. Harris.”

JJ: “Indeed, Jon. With a paltry legislative record and receiving campaign contributions from a contractor embroiled in the Duke Cunningham scandal, Harris is clearly banking her campaign on two things: her spectacular breasts.”

JS: “Her, her breasts?”

JJ: “Yes, Jon. She tested the strategy last August on Hannity and Colmes with a bold decision to stand in profile, as if to say ‘Please, do not listen to what I am saying. Just check out my giant breasts.’”

JS: “If that’s true, Jason, it’s a pretty remarkable strategy.”

JJ: “Jon, you saw those pictures. This is Harris at one of her most recent campaign stops. I don’t know if you’re familiar with traditional rodeo garb, but tit-hugging spandex is generally considered sub-standard attire.”

JS: “That phrase, tit-hugging spandex . . . How can that possibly be considered a strategy for victory?”

JJ: “It’s not unprecedented. History buffs may recall that William Howard Taft’s narrow victory in 1908 was widely attributable to his formidable man-boobs. All I can say is, ‘Yowza.’”

JS: “So you believe that this strategy for Harris could actually work?”

JJ: “Well, what else has she got besides Moxie and Spunk? That’s what she’s named them.”

JS: “Thank you very much, Jason.”

All I can say is, we’ve seen what banking on a set of boobs has done for Barbara Bush.

More soon.